Wanting to run away … in order to be found

Wanting to run away … in order to be found

Some mornings, a heavy feeling settles in. A little cloud of sadness rains tears, and gusts of discouragement blow through. Suddenly, the urge to pack my bags and flee to the other end of the world feels really appealing. In today’s world, with its perceived openness of destinations, borders, and options, the idea of escape feels especially tempting.

I recently stumbled upon this wonderful, paradise-like picture of my ideal home for this very moment: curated, clean, open, just enough for me to bring all my heavy bags and drop them on the floor. And then it dawned on me: whatever wonderful destination I choose, I will have to take all my heavy baggage with me. And I’m talking about baggage, the real stuff, not just the disorganized few little items and toiletries, sprinkled around in a carry-on.

I remember reading once that we only want to run away in order to be found. We want to escape perhaps so we can be missed and finally appreciated. We want to run away, so we can perhaps stay at the same place .. long term.

I love these human paradoxes, these riddles we humans so naturally create for ourselves. We often reveal our deepest desires by doing the very opposite of what we seem to want. It’s like a little child who hides their face, not to disappear, but to open their eyes again and find you there, smiling and whispering “peek-a-boo.”